In so many ways it was a beginning, although I didn't know it at the time. The beginning of being more open about a problem so many couples experience yet so few discuss. The beginning to seeking more advanced treatment. The beginning to handling a new level of disappointment. The beginning of a new kind of dedication to having a family. A year later I'm more vulnerable, but I'm fuller, too.
The truth is, my heart is so full these days I feel like it might explode. It's time (once again) to let it all hang out.
(adventures in horrid office bathroom lighting!)
It took us nearly three years and almost everything our doctors could think of, but today I'm 14 weeks pregnant with a little girl! It's surreal to see that in print, still. I'll share all the details soon - the how (unlike most pregnancy announcements, I suppose mine does warrant a "how"!), the ups and downs, and the now. But first, I have a date with an airplane headed once more to New Orleans, where my love and I will eat (oh yes), drink(ish), and be very, very merry.
I'm getting all teary writing this - the journey has just been so... much. For everyone reaading this who's still in the trenches, please know that you have an eternal sister in me. My path toward pregnancy changed me; it's absolutely a part of who I am today. No smug preggo here - just an eternally thankful one, without complaint and with a lot of humility and love. I wish I could hug each one of you in person, right in the trenches where you are. If I could lift you out myself, I'd do it in a heartbeat.
More soon. After the beignets and the shrimp etouffee.