To another Council of Equals

Last weekend our dear friends LG and B were married at the DC War Memorial. It was a perfect ceremony - laughter, tears, full hearts, and so much love. We were so happy to be part of their day and to support a wedding of two individuals who quite simply belong together. That the District (and increasingly, the entire country) allows them to marry legally is an important reason why we love living here. Get a load of this gorgeousness:

As their wedding date got closer, T and I spent a lot of time reminiscing about our own wedding, five and a half years ago now. In lieu of favors we donated to Freedom to Marry, which felt like a big deal in 2009. In 2014, it'd be almost passe, which is pretty awesome. Thinking about how much ground has been covered in the simple effort to make love legal makes me all kinds of happy. (I mean seriously - check out this chart!)

At the LG&B reception - tipsy on champagne and oysters, per the me+B tradition - I read a poem for them that was part of our ceremony, too. This is my ode (well okay, Alice Walker's) to two complete individuals joining forces and, rather than meshing into the ubiquitous and boring "one" that so many folks seem to romanticize, each becoming doubly awesome in turn. The world needs more awesome, more LG+B, and more councils of equals. That's a world where I want to be.

Beyond What

Alice Walker

We reach for destinies beyond 
what we have come to know
and in the romantic hush
of promises
perceive each
the other's life
as known mystery.
Shared. But inviolate.
No melting. No squeezing
into One.
We swing our eyes around
as well as side to side
to see the world.
To choose, renounce,
this, or that -
call it a council between equals
call it love. 

Friday I'm in Love

Hello Friday! I'm looking forward to a weekend of neighborhood relaxation, catching up with friends, and pumping like a madwoman. First, though, a day full of meetings... and some fun links! Stuff I'm loving this Friday includes:

Beyoncé Voters

What can I say, I love a trendy political tumblr. I think it was Texts with Hillary that set the bar for the genre so high (for me, anyway). And now Beyoncé Voters is on the scene, gallantly serving that important life role of "procrastination rabbit hole." Nicely done, Beyoncé Voters, nicely done. (Side note: can anyone explain why "Beyoncé" has an accent on the last 'e'? No really, this bugs the crap out of me.)

Vigilante Cold Brew

 This summer I've become completely obsessed with Vigilante Coffee's cold brew. I love the Red Stripe-meets-JFK bottles. I love the ease of refills, every weekend at Eastern market. But mostly, I love how smooth and strong this stuff is. Locals, go get some - seriously.

Fantasy Hideaway Wallpaper

This wallpaper is so dreamy to me. I picture a renovated attic study, totally girly, books everywhere, a great desk, and a comfy broken-in velvet sofa. My kind of room.

Friday I'm in Love

Happy Friday, aka vacation kickoff day! I'm taking the day off to prepare for our vacation tomorrow, which is sadly necessary given the mess and empty suitcases staring at me ahead of our 6:00 a.m. departure. Before I start doing laundry and packing wee swimsuits, though, I leave you with some fun moments from the week. I'll check in from vacation next week to share some fun news related to H's nursery, but in the meantime... au revoir!

Best. Walkup. Song. Ever.

I hear your inane country tune and your angry metal and I raise you one glorious "Careless Whisper." Josh Reddick, you are my new favorite.

 

 

Courageous Bride, Beautiful Wedding

 

My fabulous friend Sara consistently plans spectacular DC weddings full of swoon-worthy details. This wedding of Sara's, though, takes the (wedding) cake, for all the right reasons. I want to hug this bride a thousand times over!

 

 

Alternate Ending for Tyrion
 

This alternate ending to Sunday's Game of Thrones episode makes me cackle with delight. Sometimes it just doesn't take much. Team Tyrion over here (obviously). (Also, we can agree that Jamie's haircut is absolutely terrible, right?)

 

 

My girl, and "our" girls

Last night I put one of Hazel's swimsuits on her for the first time, squeezing her broad thighs and roly poly almost-six-month body into the stretchy fabric. We're ten days away from vacation - time to make sure her suits are good to go. They are.

I get these moments now and then of being utterly overwhelmed with happiness that I have a little girl. Seeing her in her very first swimsuit last night very nearly broke me. There she was smiling at me in an old-fashioned print with a sweet little skirt and a high neck and all that skin. It was too much. She has an entire life ahead of her to explore her relationship with swimwear (and if I have any power at all, I hope that relationship will be happier than many girls'), but this first chapter is ours together.

I feel that way about so many firsts she's having these days. I rub her feet - perfectly smooth and un-calloused, since she's never actually walked on them, and I wonder where they'll take her. I see her light up with a grin at someone and think about all the people who'll inspire that smile in her lifetime, and all the smiles she'll inspire in turn. I see her brain whirling and hear her sounds coming, and wonder how many grand ideas will come out of that mouth, how many people will turn to listen to what she has to say.

Because she's my girl, I predict she'll have lots of opinions and quite a lot to say. I want her to be whatever she wants to be, but to be it proudly, and I know she'll have every opportunity in the world to live out that motto. Other girls aren't so lucky. And maybe because just the sight of my little one in a swimsuit makes me teary, maybe because I'm filled with every bit of hope in the world for my little girl right now, the horror of 300 kidnapped girls in Nigeria is especially appalling.

There must have been so much hope in their eyes, sitting in their classrooms and learning about the world. Their families knew that going to school was the best way to channel their hopes into a better life, the best way to rise to the challenge presented by their dreams. If you believe, like I do, that making the women of this world happy is the key to achieving peace anywhere and everywhere, then you know it all begins in a classroom. Of course the classroom is the battleground.

As Uzodinma Iweala wrote in the Washington Post this morning: "The kidnapping of these girls is the crudest attempt to destabilize our country. It is a cowardly act by lazy minds who lack the ability or desire to address a pluralistic nation as the democratic process demands, through the spoken or written word." Kidnapping, he explains, is the worst kind of tool in a young democracy where hope is the currency: "[Kidnapping] turns this hope into a liability that can paralyze."

Paralyzing the future and extinguishing the light in the eyes of 300 girls will have a ricochet effect within Nigeria that I can't even begin to comprehend. The horror of it is both why a "hashtag movement" is so easily prompted, and also why it could never be enough. I know it's not enough, but I say #BringBackOurGirls anyway. I see Hazel's sparkling eyes and her smile and those sweet rolls exposed by her new swimsuit, and I think about little girls everywhere. I know it's not enough, but I say it again, and again, and again: #BringBackOurGirls.

Labor Day lemonade

Lots of ladies in my life lately, which I adore. They're helping to take my mind off some less-than-awesome medical developments in my world. Great ladies will do that for a girl.

My pals from graduate school spent the weekend here, walking the monuments with me and remembering all about that thing we have here on the East Coast called humidity. It was a sweaty, wonderful weekend. We planned Marjorie's side business, planned Mikaela's forthcoming son's middle name, planned the trashy fictional series I will write to make my millions. We do know how to plan, the three of us. I love those two with all I have, and Albuquerque is a lucky city to have them.

The girls approved of Eleanor, of course. She continues to amuse us with her scruffy self and charming antics.

She's such a little squirt right now. I keep wondering aloud to T if she's ever actually going to grow (a weekend parasite certainly didn't help matters). She's sort of a miniature old lady right now with that beard of hers. I can't get enough of that funny face.

See that collar of hers? Girl is decked out for election season. She's feeling it, too - I'm pretty sure after Tuesday night she was angling for a name change to Michelle. I get it - my love for the First Lady knows no bounds. 

How are the cats hanging in there, you might be wondering? Differently. Switters is more eager to be pals, and Fanny is occasionally bitchy for no reason whatsoever. In other words, they're being themselves. But ten days in, we're feeling pretty good about interspecies cooperation over here.

Puppy kisses, kitten purrs, good politics on tv, good friends visiting me from too far away... this is me making the best of this month. Bring it, September.

Introducing Eleanor

(Updates in red)

After months of trying to bring a dog home, we finally struck gold. Months of local rescue applications gone unanswered, months of being told we weren't good candidates for a dog because we didn't have a fenced 2-acre yard and I dare have a job outside the home (helloooooo 1950s), months of getting thisclose with certain dogs but it just not working out because they either didn't like cats or their current owners changed their minds, we made it happen.

This is Eleanor. She's twelvenine (long story) weeks old, a scruffy lab/poodle/schnauzer?/terrier?/German Shorthaired Pointer? mix of rough-and-tumble heritage.

Mystery solved: DNA test reveals all....

Eleanor was born in Georgia and dumped in a lot to die with her brothers and sisters. She found her way to us via a rescue partnership that sends dogs from the Deep South up north, which lets them escape the brutal shelter system down there and get matched with adopters like us, who outnumber available dogs in this area. We met her in Annapolis last night during a driving rainstorm, and even though we went in thinking one of her littermates would be our pick, this little lady stole our hearts.

She's a little squirt with big paws now, and they think she'll be 50 pounds or so when fully grown. She has serious eyes and a quirky sense of humor. We named her after one of my favorite ladies ever... a First Lady at that, also known for big thoughts and wry humor.

The cats are hanging in there. The first night is behind us. Our hearts are more full than they were yesterday, and our dog-in-the-District adventures are just beginning.

Lady-blogging, DC edition.

You know what my goal is for today? To cook dinner. Not cook a great dinner, not try out a new recipe, but to cook anything at all. These days I'm only cooking on the weekends and maybe one night a week. The rest of those nights I come home later than I'd like and try to recover from the day, when my mind does nothing but reel with tomorrow's To Do list. It's not a sustainable way of being, but until I figure out how to un-busy myself from "8 to 5" (oh, those quotations), my goals will remain simple: cooking edible food tonight.

When my life gets cluttered like this, I find so much inspiration in the women who are managing to charm and amuse on their blogs. Bloggers rocking it when I'm unable to do the same are so humbling, in the best way possible. So allow me to raise my glass to three bloggers who are inspiring me online lately. It doesn't hurt that they also happen to be women I admire in real life, gals with whom I've clinked glasses and shared laughs and great food. DC is bursting with fantastic women, truly. As you'll soon see:

Mary

I've been reading Mary's blog The Arugula Files since before we moved to DC - that's how much I like her writing. I think I once even posted a stalker-y "I live in Dallas but hate it here and want to move there and when I do we can be friends" sort of comment. Embarrassing. But how I could I not stalk Mary? She cooks brilliant food that's photographed beautifully, and she writes about it really, really well. Her asides on Arugula Files leave me in stiches (cheesecloth and Beyonce and gracefully acerbic barbs at all things "foodie"). In person, Mary is even more fantastic - and we have a slew of professional interests in common. Too good to be true, right? H Street happy hours have never been more fun.

Mandy

Mandy is one of those adorable pixie girls who is so damn cute you spend the first few minutes you're with her not even hearing what she's saying because your inner monologue is reeling from all the adorable. And then your brain wakes up and you hear the spunky hilarity coming out of her Nashville-accented mouth, and you're smitten. And then you visit her blog Fabric Paper Glue and are blown away by the DIY wonder that is her online hangout, and you realize that this girl has major.crafting.skillz. And although Mandy's idea of a throw-away project might involve a lot more know-how than you possess (ahem), you love seeing her projects in action anyway. Also: "A Fabric & a Font?" Forever yes.

Bettina

Oh, Bettina Dear indeed. Bettina lives in my neighborhood and is fast-becoming one of my favorite things about it. Things we have in common: cats, oysters, drinking, cute dresses, dubious love of many academic degrees, politics. Things we don't have in common: just enough to make our conversations interesting, always. Bettina just started blogging and I adore where she's going with it: food, eye candy, politics... a little bit of everything. Sound familiar? Like I said... we have lots in common. So I really think you'll like her. Also, Bettina is not allowed to move to the suburbs... no matter what she says.

Friday I'm in Love

Hi friends! I'm working out of T's company's New York office today... all the better to scoot up to Connecticut tonight in time for family dinner. Last night we ate at Babbo, which has long been on my to-do list, and tonight we'll eat at a longtime family fave, The Place. From chianti-stained pappardelle to clams and corn on a tree stump... I try to be well-rounded, you know?

My view today... not too shabby

I hope your weekends are full of good cheer. Here are some tidbits from my world this week. Have a good one!

Women's Congressional Softball Game

One of my favorite things about living in DC are those moments when you realize our nation's capital is actually just sort of... a small town. Cue our neighborhood elementary school athletic field hosting the Women's Congressional Softball Game this week. Nerd Celebrity people-watching (my favorite kind), long-lost friends in the crowd, a favorite senator on the mound and a favorite congresswoman wielding pom poms, playing against the Media team featuring a slew of fantastic female journalists. Oh, and Andrea Mitchell and Sen. Klobuchar as the play-by-play and color announcers? I think I have to attend every year now.

Fur Rugs?

Are these rugs ridiculous, or as amazing as I suspect? Because I sort of love them. One on each side of the bed to greet our cold feet in the morning? Cats who will love us forever because we just brought the coziest rugs of all time into the house? I'm on to something here, right?



Lace Flower Pots

I'm totally charmed by this simple DIY. These would be adorable hanging out in my sunny office window back in DC. I think it's glue gun time!

This night, long ago

So it's late right now. Late enough that I should either be asleep or smiling. But instead I'm deeply involved in a PowerPoint. This is how too many of my nights have been recently.

Here's the flashback that just hit me:

Me, in the Planning building computer lab. Grad school. A cool 3 a.m., probably. A crumpled-up wrapper from a Frontier breakfast burrito beside me, definitely. Headphones on. Indigo Girls: blasting. Who listens to the Indigo Girls loudly, you're asking? This girl does, when driving alone and fast or when up way past her bedtime on deadline. So there's me, the work, the burrito wrapper, and the Girls. But a couple of computers down, there's also my girl Mikaela, my ultimate all-nighter-in-the-computer-lab partner in crime. I need a break. Headphones come off. We take a few minutes to do that thing we do, which is discuss relationships or politics or gossip or who the hell cares because we know each other so well and we really don't need much besides the smallest distraction from the sentence that is slowly becoming the run-on from hell (like this one). We stretch our legs, go out into the courtyard. We feel the cool night air on our faces. Mikaela is probably smoking (I'll never tell your daughter, M, promise). We make each other laugh. We bounce ideas for each other's work around. Then we go back in, and we hunker down. We finish. Of course we do. We're good at this. We nailed those nights.

I miss that kind of flow. I'm getting glimpses again these days of how sure I was that I'd only do this profession until I was bored with it, then I'd have my creative career. I was sure I'd be writing by now.

But instead I'm PowerPointing. And not in the cool way, either, with Mikaela beside me.

And that's okay. This is okay. I believe in these bullets.

But tomorrow I'll send them out for dozens of people to review, and we will tinker and talk it to death and finally we will present it to the community, and it'll be fine. I'll still believe in those bullets.

But I don't believe in this process as much as that process, the one with just my brain, a friend, a burrito, and a blank screen.

Time to cue the Indigo Girls. Time to send my old friend a hug across the Internet.

Also: time to plan my annual return to New Mexico, where I'm certain everyone else is still having those resplendent 3 a.m. strikes of inspiration without me.

Girl power

I might as well be carrying around one of these this week. It's a girl power kind of time for me.

Last weekend was one of my favorite weekends of the year: folk art and prom dresses. How in the world do these two things combine, you're asking?

First up: the annual Folk Art Show at Fearrington Village. I love this show. I love the art and the energy, how down-home it feels, while still being (for me, on a budget!) absolutely aspirational. I had a blast at the Collectors' Preview with my mom and my sister.

Another reason I love the Fearrington Folk Art Show is watching my mom work the room - painting, pottery, textiles, she does it all. She's been collecting Danny Doughty's work for years, and picked up these gorgeous geese this year to add to her collection.

On Saturday, my favorite girl gang - my three cousins! - arrived to shop for their prom dresses. Two prom attendees, with older college student sis acting as shopping consultant, plus me, my mom, and sis = too much fun for one 12-hour shopping day! We were successful, by the way - both girls ended up in amazing dresses that suited them perfectly - and were perfectly different. I've said it before and I'll say it again: my cousins give me hope for the universe. I love these girls like mad.

As if this wasn't enough, I had a very special lunch date on Sunday with my oldest pal in the world, Allie, and her brand new baby girl! Baby L was born in December and I can't wait to watch her grow up to be as amazing as her mom is.

Just two days later, my dear friend Kate had her baby girl, too. I get to meet this new Baby L in Austin next month, and I'm counting down the days to see those cheeks in person!

Okay, okay, I still like boys... but for a few more days, I'm just going to soak in all this girly goodness. Can you blame me?

All you need is love

I've always liked Valentine's Day. Not because of romantic relationships, but because of the sentiment. Love, laughter, smiles, warmth... these are good things. There should be more of these things in the world. And so however you choose to honor love, laughter, smiles, and warmth... just do it. Do it today. Do it every day. Honor love in all your relationships.

Honor it in your friendships.

Honor it in your family.

And yes, honor it in your romances.

Sarcasm can only take us so far, after all. It feels so much better to smile than to roll your eyes, don't you think?

Friday I'm in Love

Friday! Finally! We're having a low-key weekend over here, complete with a little mini-road trip to shower my oldest galpal with love for her upcoming baby. Here's what I'm loving this week:

Resolving legal disputes

PSA #1: Do not drive over the speed of 80 in the State of Virginia, because if you are pulled over, you will automatically be charged with reckless driving instead of just speeding. Which is of course total bullshit, particularly when you have never even had a speeding ticket before. PSA #2: Take particular care not to drive over the speed of 80 near the town of Emporia, VA, which is tantalizingly close to the NC state line. If you do, and you bitch about your ticket to folks, prepare for them to knowingly nod and ask "Was it Emporia?" And then you'll feel like an idiot for not knowing this nondescript I-95 locale is actually The Land Of Speedtraps. PSA #3: If you ignore PSAs #1 and #2, hire a local attorney to resolve said reckless driving charge for you. It will go away with the mere flash of plastic. I'm not a fan of this system and recognize that not everyone has the means to do this and it's why our system sucks, but hey... I'm no reckless driver!
(PSAs over. Thank you for listening.)

The Concerns of Mindy Kaling

Oh how I love this funny-lady. She's my absolute favorite celebrity tweeter, and I imagine that nearly everyone reading this blog imagines they could be bff's with Mindy in real life, am I right? Her new blog ratchets this up for me big-time, and has me itching to buy her new book.

Small screen laughs

The above scene in Modern Family just killed me this week. What else is on my comedy radar besides Modern Family, which just never fails? I've always loved Parks and Rec (community planning humor! on network tv!), and it's better than ever this year. Community is sadly uneven for me; brilliant episodes are followed by terrible ones (the Biology study group episode was just downright mean-spirited, and not at all funny). I'm loving Happy Endings, as far as new stuff goes. And as always, How I Met Your Mother. Glee is sort of painful this year, in my opinion. What's on your comedy radar?

Next week on the blog, I have a great giveaway from Oreck, as well as a new home addition to share. (I love that that sounds like we built a new wing onto our house, by the way. Sadly, that's not the case. Urban square footage is what it is.) Until then... au revoir!

Friday I'm in Love

Happy Friday, everyone! I'm really getting into the swing of this Nesting-Without-Traveling-Every-Weekend thing. And even though I'm always tempted to race off to visit the ones I love, it's also pretty nice staying at home and getting back to work around here with the "one" I love, ya know? At any rate, some highlights from the week:

Guilty Pleasure TV

I should probably be embarrassed to admit this, but what the heck: I am loving the most deliciously sleazy new show on television. Is anyone else watching Revenge? It's your classic Old Money v. New Money drama, or Family Dynasty v. Everyone Else drama, or Betrayers v. Betrayed drama. It's the Hamptons and hedge funds and popped collars and yachts. It's filmed in NC (shoutout!). It's so bad it's good. And look... you can catch up with the addictive stage-setting pilot and this week's episode online! Don't say I didn't warn you.

30 Alter Egos of Amy Poehler

 Oh, Amy. One of my very favorite Queens of Comedy. This slideshow makes me heart you even more.

Cup of Joe Guide to NYC

The perennially charming Cup of Joe ran a great series on New York this week, which included her favorite hotels, restaurants, shops, bars, and more. My favorite post was on her 10 favorite shops, which left me just itching for a lazy weekend in New York with no plans, and nothing but time and money on my hands. One day, one day!

Have a wonderful weekend, everybody!

Addendum

Of course this gem would land on my virtual doorstep hours after I already posted the bachelorette recap. I forgot all about this lady!

She's sort of perfect to send us off into the weekend, don't you think? Have a great one, everybody!

Night of black and gold

All week I've been frantically checking the Interwebs for the official photos of my brother's wedding to get here. There have been some (gorgeous! amazing!) teasers posted on Facebook, but the big reveal hasn't happened yet. What has happened, though, has been a slow trickling of rather hilarious bachelorette party photos. Let's jump in, shall we?

Since my sister-in-law (!) Nicole is originally from Pennsylvania and her oldest friends/half the wedding party had to travel fairly far to get to the wedding, the group decided to fold Nicole's bachelorette party into the wedding week so that everyone could be there. We settled on Myrtle Beach, about an hour south of Holden Beach, the wedding location. Our first stop was nails. Two funny things about the salon:

1. Two straight Caucasian dudes, one 35ish and one 21, did our nails. 
2. The salon mascot was a duck named JJ who wears a charm necklace with his name on it and gets his nails painted by the staff. Here's JJ with the salon's owner, who we think married Straight Dude #1 and is possibly the sister-in-law of Straight Dude #2.

Nicole has such a great group of girls. Eight of us had nails done at JJ's and stayed overnight in Myrtle. I knew I was the going to be the oldest of the crew, but I was apparently also "Most Barren." Eight girls here with an average age of 27... representing seven kids! Crazy.

Being barren and devoid of other responsibilities and all (kidding), I was in charge of accommodations. I found a great deal at the Anderson Ocean Club online, but you never know how these things are going to work out... needless to say, its largess and amazing views made me happy.

We piled into cabs for our first stop of the night, where the top of my dress might make you think I was wearing something pretty risque...

...until I straightened up and you realized, Nope! GRANNY LENGTH ALERT!

This group has had SEVEN KIDS, remember? (I declined to post the group shot in bikinis on the beach so as not to depress all of you.) So back to these dresses... my fellow lady in knee-length black Megan and I discussed that acquiring new "practical" black dresses that we could wear again and again would mean longer hemlines but also a longer closet lifespan. This is well and good... but couldn't I have at least hemmed a couple of inches off? And in Megan's credit, satin + strapless offers a little more vavoom than jersey scoop neck. Moving on! (By the way, that was the "attitude" shot... in case you didn't get that from the pouting.)

We had a truly terrible dinner, but who attends bachelorette parties for the food, anyway?* Another half dozen of Nicole's friends joined us for the evening, and in our group shot after dinner, our waiter decided to work for the first time all evening and pose with us. Your tip is your inclusion in this photo op, sir!

Our first stop (and last stop for some of us) was Crocodile Rocks, a dueling piano bar where we were seated front and center and the object of much piano playing-attention. Nicole was stunning in her gold sequins, and pulled on stage for things that will remain protected in the Bachelorette Code of Honor.

I love this shot of Nicole with her Maid of Honor Kristi:

Here's me, looking surprisingly bright-eyed. First, becuase we're deep into the night. And second, because I'm notorious for "are they or aren't they?" closed eyes in photos.

This recording of events would not be complete without a discussion of my dear sister Lisa. As some of you might recall, she has been pregnant and/or breastfeeding for the last three years. So while the primary goal of our group was to show Nicole the night of her life, the second goal of the group was to enable Lisa in her need to get a little crazy. Due to her concern about appearances, I will not include the photo here of her happily drinking at the hotel while the breast pump worked away, but I do want to salute its cuteness. Never has a girl so deserved a night on the town. We asked, and Lisa delivered. Gamely.

Here's where the night ended for the siblings of the bunch. I won't get into details (Bachelorette Code of Honor and all), but suffice it to say, my sis gave the night everything she had. While the rest of the girls went dancing, I packed up my over-mommed and over-served sis and took her back to the hotel. (Lisa has no recollection of this photo being taken, by the way. But isn't she cute?!)

The next morning, a Myrtle Beach sunrise... and a whole lot of work to do back at Holden Beach to get ready for the Reggae Rehearsal Dinner. To my sis: even if your Thursday meant that you could not help me with Friday's manual labor under the direction of Mimi, I'm so very glad you had a great night.

 And to my shy and unassuming sister-in-law, you rock my world.

*Full disclosure: my bachelorette party was at Nobu.